I remember so vividly sitting in meetings, yes I follow a 12 Step program, listening to people share and talk about being 20 years sober and think ‘How am I ever going to get to that?’ and ‘That’s a lot of hard work’. I really was not sure that I was cut out to be sober. I was so used to living in the ADHD world of being excited by the new, of the quick win, and achieving things quickly, that I really did not have the life experience, the data, to give me any confidence that I would be able to stick it out. And to make matters worse after starting my journey I quickly relapsed. Leaving me feeling like I had proof that I was doomed to fail! But hindsight is an amazing teacher. I can see now that back then I was still trying to live my life thinking that it was all about the destination. Thinking that the 12 Steps were something that I had to complete, as quickly as possible. To prove to the world, to prove to me, that I was a good person and that I was sober. But living my life that way...
Three words. On the face of it, it's so simple! Yet there is so much meaning in these three words. There are so many layers that they are worthy of a blog post. There is a part of me that can laugh at the irony that this isn't the first blog post. But for me it was completely logical. First Things First represents the first actions. The first steps towards ANOTHER WAY. But before I could take these actions I had to make the decision that I wanted to get off of the path that I was on. Which means that before I could take my first action, I had to make my first decision, which was ONE DAY… or… DAY ONE (see previous post). And truth be told my first actions in sobriety were unclear, unintentional and unimpactful. Which now, reflecting back on it, leaves me with no surprise that my first stint of sobriety (28 days) was a complete roller coaster. I was not happy. I was not content. I was not satisfied. In the world of alcoholism they would call that being a ‘dry drunk’. Every waking...