The Power of Shame

Shame is such a strong and powerful emotion. It’s the emotion that can drive addiction and at the same time, the one that can stop you from getting help.

That was certainly the case for me.

The world has come a long way in its attitude towards addiction.

The line “hello, my name is X and I am an alcoholic” has almost become a cultural cliche. Whether thats helpful or not is something I will explore another time - but it shows how some addictions have become more socially acceptable to talk about.

Yet others remain shrouded in silence.

Take sex addiction for example.

Sex is a part of every human story, literally none of us would be here without it. It’s often described as one of the most beautiful expressions of love between two people. But still… we don't talk about it.

Many of us would happily discuss our relationship with the toilet before we’d ever admit to struggles around sex.

When you stop and think about it, that’s absurd.

As long as there are topics we can’t talk about, there will be people who suffer in shame and silence.

Social media makes this worse.

Every moment of other people’s lives is polished, filtered, and presented as perfect.

It becomes a constant reminder that our reality feels second best - messy, unfiltered and painfully human.

And shame thrives in comparison.

A very clever man once told me:

“If something already has a name, it’s been done before.”

That phrase changed how I thought about shame.

If your addiction has a name, it means someone else has walked that path before you.

It means you are not unique in your brokenness - you are human!

And if others have walked it before, it also means there is someone you can talk to, someone who understands, someone who can help.

Because shame isolates.

And recovery begins with connection.

If you are feeling weighed down by shame today, take a moment to ask yourself:

Does what I'm struggling with have a name?

If it does, then you are not alone.

Now go and find your tribe.

Get connected.

Get support!