There is Another Way

Shame is such a strong and powerful emotion. It’s the emotion that can drive addiction and at the same time, the one that can stop you from getting help. That was certainly the case for me. The world has come a long way in its attitude towards addiction. The line “hello, my name is X and I am an alcoholic” has almost become a cultural cliche. Whether thats helpful or not is something I will explore another time - but it shows how some addictions have become more socially acceptable to talk about. Yet others remain shrouded in silence. Take sex addiction for example. Sex is a part of every human story, literally none of us would be here without it. It’s often described as one of the most beautiful expressions of love between two people. But still… we don't talk about it. Many of us would happily discuss our relationship with the toilet before we’d ever admit to struggles around sex. When you stop and think about it, that’s absurd. As long as there are topics we can’t talk about, the...

In early recovery it is so hard to think of anything beyond the next 5 minutes. Staying sober becomes all consuming and it requires a huge amount of effort. But once the early days have been conquered your brain will start to look forward. And in doing so it will realise that there are so many possibilities available now that you are living your life differently. Now that your life isn't consumed with thoughts of where the next fix may come from. It really is not unusual for people to start dreaming once the urges begin to subside. But the dreams will be many and varied. In this post I want to let you know about my dream. Because I need to hold a space where I can start to look forward. So much of my life right now is still consumed with the devastation of my addiction that it is very easy for me to fall into the trap of self pity. Easy for me to beat myself up with the hurt that I have created. I have never once tried to skirt responsibility for that. I know that even though my ad...

When I started writing this post I did not know what to call it. It may remain without a title, or I may get inspiration further on down the line, who knows. This blog post is also different because I am pretty confident that this post is a lot more about helping me. It does not feel like I am passing anything on particularly. But maybe reading it will give you a sense of identification. Maybe you will read something that confirms your own thoughts and feelings. Or maybe you will read something that challenges your current way of thinking in a way that helps you to move forward. Again who knows. Throughout my recovery journey I have been told that it does not matter why I am an addict. That knowing is irrelevant. That there is no point looking for someone to blame and in doing so it will only hinder my recovery. But that goes against everything that has been a pillar in my life. I would say I confidently subscribe to the notion of ‘Knowledge is Power’. That to move forward, in any dire...