There is Another Way

When I started writing this post I did not know what to call it. It may remain without a title, or I may get inspiration further on down the line, who knows. This blog post is also different because I am pretty confident that this post is a lot more about helping me. It does not feel like I am passing anything on particularly. But maybe reading it will give you a sense of identification. Maybe you will read something that confirms your own thoughts and feelings. Or maybe you will read something that challenges your current way of thinking in a way that helps you to move forward. Again who knows. Throughout my recovery journey I have been told that it does not matter why I am an addict. That knowing is irrelevant. That there is no point looking for someone to blame and in doing so it will only hinder my recovery. But that goes against everything that has been a pillar in my life. I would say I confidently subscribe to the notion of ‘Knowledge is Power’. That to move forward, in any dire...

For clarity - this is my first post where I attempt to describe my Higher Power, where I try to outline what it is, what it isnt, what it means to me and why it has become such an important pillar of my recovery journey. I hope, in reading it, you come to realise that there may be some validity in a higher power, that where we do not agree with the Higher Power models described by ‘mainstream’ religion, we have the freedom to create our own.  ‘ Theres something in the way she moves’ is the first line from a song, with the same title, that I grew up listening to. While I was growing up I never gave the song much thought. Sure I liked the melody, I would be mesmerized by the guitar playing, and I would sing along. But I never gave much thought as to the meaning behind the song. Truth be told, I thought it was ‘just another’ love song. A man talking about his love for a woman. And maybe that is exactly what the writer of this song (James Taylor) intended it to mean. But one of the man...

I remember so vividly sitting in meetings, yes I follow a 12 Step program, listening to people share and talk about being 20 years sober and think ‘How am I ever going to get to that?’ and ‘That’s a lot of hard work’. I really was not sure that I was cut out to be sober. I was so used to living in the ADHD world of being excited by the new, of the quick win, and achieving things quickly, that I really did not have the life experience, the data, to give me any confidence that I would be able to stick it out. And to make matters worse after starting my journey I quickly relapsed. Leaving me feeling like I had proof that I was doomed to fail! But hindsight is an amazing teacher. I can see now that back then I was still trying to live my life thinking that it was all about the destination. Thinking that the 12 Steps were something that I had to complete, as quickly as possible. To prove to the world, to prove to me, that I was a good person and that I was sober. But living my life that way...

Three words. On the face of it, it's so simple! Yet there is so much meaning in these three words. There are so many layers that they are worthy of a blog post. There is a part of me that can laugh at the irony that this isn't the first blog post. But for me it was completely logical. First Things First represents the first actions. The first steps towards ANOTHER WAY. But before I could take these actions I had to make the decision that I wanted to get off of the path that I was on. Which means that before I could take my first action, I had to make my first decision, which was ONE DAY… or… DAY ONE (see previous post). And truth be told my first actions in sobriety were unclear, unintentional and unimpactful. Which now, reflecting back on it, leaves me with no surprise that my first stint of sobriety (28 days) was a complete roller coaster. I was not happy. I was not content. I was not satisfied. In the world of alcoholism they would call that being a ‘dry drunk’. Every waking...

I feel that my recovery journey has been punctuated with inspirational quotes, sayings, excerpts etc. Some of them I have known for most of my life. Some are completely new. But all of them have taken on a completely different meaning now that I am on a recovery path. That is why each of my blog posts will be titled with one of these sayings or quotes and the subsequent content will be my reflections to that particular line. With that in mind I felt that it was only right to start with this ‘One Day… or… Day One’. As I feel it fantastically represents the fork in the road that people who are struggling with addiction, or poor mental health, often find themselves standing.  “ I will get better one day” “Things will get better when…” These are lines that I found myself saying frequently while I was living in active addiction. I thought that my ‘acting out’ was a result of some unfair imbalance in the world. It was because I was overlooked for some promotion. Or because there was an a...

You have found your way to my first blog post. I'm not sure if it is the right thing to offer congratulations or to extend the hand of sympathy and understanding. I say that because if you are here you are likely to have been directly or indirectly affected by addiction, poor mental health, ADHD, or a combination of all of them.  I have been, and continue to be affected by all three. Directly. Every day. So if this is the case for you, because you are the person who is struggling with addiction, poor mental health, ADHD, or you are just a concerned friend or relative, please hear that I see you, I feel your pain, your anguish and know that you are not alone! And probably, most importantly, THERE IS ANOTHER WAY! I am pleased to say that while I am still affected by all of the above, the effects aren't solely negative any more. Because I have found ANOTHER WAY. And I want to share it with you all. Now I do not profess to have found a magic cure, and this OTHER WAY is not unique, ...